Finding Room for Relationships
DANIEL BANIN, PIEDMONT, CALIFORNIA
You’ve had a couple of drinks, the music is loud, you single out a person in the crowd and start flirting with them in the corner. But how often does a relationship stem out of this moment? Seniors in my school define hooking up, when two people want a quick fling. It's when two people have a sexual tension towards one another and want to release it through making out. But how often does this lead to a relationship?
According to Lumen Physcology, 35 percent of all teenagers are in a relationship. Social studies and English Teacher Hayley Adams thinks the relationship numbers at Piedmont High School are lower.
In my school only 20 percent of people who hook up end up in a relationship, said a Senior at Piedmont High School. The numbers are low for many reasons, but higher education appears to be one of the main things keeping students out of relationships. According to the Princeton review, 43% of students consider going to college the main driving force for their high school years. “I have heard a lot of students saying a relationship is an absolute waste of time,” Adams said. “The students at Piedmont are already thinking about college in sophomore year, and you often hear students saying that ‘being in a relationship is an absolute waste of time’. Talking to some of our teachers they shared that this seems more a Piedmont’s phenomenon. In the previous schools they taught at, which served a lower income population, it seemed that many students cared more about their social life than academics. Some students feel that they face additional pressure from their families’ expectations and this also affects their social life.
Indeed, it is not uncommon to hear that students want social interactions but prefer to stay out of a long term relationship. However, Social interactions are not the only way that relationships arise.
I believe social media also plays a role as we often see others in a perfect relationship on social media and start to think, ‘Why can’t I have that?’ This can lead to a lot of rushed and bad relationships between teens.
Indeed, 27 percent of students feel jealous about others having relationships or feel inclined to enter one through the pressures of social media. Having a high school relationship can be a positive experience for some people while it is negative for others.
Some feel that being in a high school relationship can prepare you for how to perform best in future relationships, It is good to see that the majority of my peers believes that having a good sense of self is perhaps the most important thing not to get
dragged into a lot of things “because my boyfriend or girlfriend wants to do it”, not because you want to do it.
Unfortunately many share that they have been found themselves in ‘accidental’ relationships, or even regretted what they did, because they did not know how to say no. I wish our school would provide a more rounded approach to education that goes beyond academia, but also provides the tools for social-emotional learning while helping us develop interpersonal skills and empathy. I wonder whether this is just an issue at my school, and whether things are different for other teenagers around the US and more broadly around the world.
